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And furthermore: What would happen if?

By Laurence J. Sasso, Jr.

What would happen if:

Every member of congress dressed in robes and wore masks so that no-one could be sure who was who? They would also need to have microphones that distorted their voices, and they might run the risk of looking too much like members of a repugnant secret society unless the costumes were carefully designed (especially no pointy hats). However, the big question, is this: if no one knew who they were, would they actually say what they really feel and what they believe and vote accordingly?
No-one could Tweet or text for 24 hours?
The Red Sox and the Yankees switched uniforms for a game? (Do we cheer for the players or the jerseys?)
If you had to buy french fries by the piece?
No one was allowed to post photos of their breakfast, lunch, or dinner on social media?
People in a position to do you a favor didn’t care whether you “knew a guy” or not?
You could generate electricity by chewing gum and harnessing the energy, but it meant you couldn’t talk at the same time?
Rhode Islanders could park free at state beaches?
They did away with all low numbered license plates in R.I.?
Basketball authorities devised a five point shot with the line being just over the half court marker? (It would create a Hail Mary situation at the end of games.)
You have too much to drink and your self-driving car gets into an accident?
Medical science discovers that carbs and fat are the best things you can eat?
Middle aged men who wear Speedos looked at themselves in a full length mirror before stepping onto the beach?
Math were taught in the simplest way possible, as it once was?
Bill Belichick got chatty and schmoozed with the media?
Steeply escalating electricity costs make it necessary for everyone to become more unplugged?
They make the restrooms on airplanes smaller as they are promising to do?
Cash disappears from circulation entirely?
Reading columns like this were as much fun as writing them is?